Saturday, May 17, 2014
I'm 28 years old and for the greater part of my life I have been a crippling perfectionist. I have felt, from the time I was 7 years old, like a walking contradiction. There I was, a natural born artist with a love of expressing myself through paint, but was often too anxious about my work being perfect that it would paralyze me from creating. I never felt like my lines or my drawings were good enough. And as an adult I carried that through with me. I always felt like someone could paint my ideas better than I could until one day, very recently, that changed.
Sometimes, be it fate or chance, you meet people who change the course of your life forever. Almost a year ago I met a boy, another designer in his own right, and fell in love. I'm not one to advocate that love heals all because I think that your life, your happiness, is ultimately up to you. But sometimes you meet someone who holds a mirror to you and shows you what you are capable of, and no other scenario can do that quite like love can. Love is transformative. Love, and I mean real love, forces you to grow, to confront yourself, who you were until you met that person, and who you want to be as a result.
For those of you who have been following my career and my blog for the past several years, and even those of you who recently started the journey with me through my Instagram, you may have noticed that I paint nearly everyday now. I paint without reservation. I paint without inhibition. I paint straight to paper because I'm no longer scared of the flaws. I no longer believe someone could paint my thoughts better than I could because there is only one me as there is only one version of you. I am experiencing my Spring Awakening and have one person to thank, you know who you are.
Now that the weather is warming, try taking sometime to yourself to quiet the noise and hear your own voice. Listen for the fire burning for what you love most in life, deep down, your passion, and follow it. You will get lost only to be found. I promise.